International ______________ Awareness Day

Anti-Bullying Awareness Day
Bullying Awareness Week
Breast Cancer Awareness Day
Sexual Abuse Awareness Day
Elder Abuse Awareness Day
National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
Software License Awareness Day
Global Anti-Piracy Awareness Day
Singles Awareness Day
National Caffeine Awareness Month

No matter where you turn, if you open the newspaper, chances are it's some kind of awareness day where you live.

The examples above? All very real. Some very stupid.

But the truth is, I hate every kind of awareness day. All of them. In an age where every holiday has been co-opted by consumerist culture as an obligation to purchase greeting cards, candy and themed stuffed toys, now we have piled on days meant to raise awareness of every subject the diseased human mind can imagine.

No. I won't have it.

The world can take all their awareness days and stick 'em.

I am sick and tired of people organizing awareness days. Are you familiar with cancer research? Do you know anyone in that field? Next time you see them, tell them that you're helping their research by raising awareness.

Make a fist. Extend your middle finger. This is how much "raising awareness" helps in the extermination of fatal diseases, the curbing of schoolyard bullying, the sexual assault of pre-sexual children, and so on.

None.

Why are there so many awareness days? Because the people who coordinate them do so in order to contribute absolutely nothing to their chosen cause, but get back a feeling of accomplishment.

Organizing awareness days is great for absolving the guilt that people feel for not being able to contribute to the resolution of difficult, world-affecting issues.

Know someone with breast cancer? Wow, must be hard for them. Makes you feel bad thinking about it, huh? You don't want your friend to suffer. I know! Hold an awareness day! Wow, that's great! You're spreading awareness! That must help! Oh, now your friend is dead. Huh. Guess that awareness didn't go as far as you thought it would.

People, get a clue. Stop spending all that money organizing awareness days. Advertising, cute color ribbons, nice t-shirts with "Crack Whore Awareness Day" in a fancy logo cost money. You want to be part of the solution? Donate that money to groups researching proper solutions instead of spending it yourself, forming your own group to spread awareness.

Anti-Bullying Awareness Day? I was bullied in school (I know, big surprise, right?). Let me tell you: the people who could have stopped it were plenty aware of the problem. They just couldn't be bothered to intervene.

So stop supporting these things. Spread cold hard cash instead of awareness. Stop giving bullshit not-for-profit organizations a reason to exist (and a reason to abuse non-profit society tax breaks).

It's all a waste of everyone's time, and it only helps the organizers, not the people who really need assistance.

At least as far as I'm aware.